Life is a Spiral
The path isn’t a straight line. It’s a spiral. You continually come back to things you thought you understood and see deeper truths.
It feels like it’s time for another healing adventure, especially in light of our planetary crisis. It’s TIME TO HEAL!!!! Next month, I’m off to explore mystical locales in South America, with indigenous shamans and healers in Guatemala and Colombia, but right now, it feels a bit like Dante’s Inferno. Back in New Haven, I’ve been hiding out during COVID, hoping for this crazy pandemic to pass, but no such luck. After my magical life in China for two years plus, returning to New Haven has been less than anti-climatic; it’s triggered every ounce of my cellular trauma. Ugh.
The Universe has an intentional way of recycling patterns of experience until we heal the karma that needs to be healed and move on to something else. Obviously, something in my soul was in dire need of rectification and I wasn’t done with New Haven.
Last night was the full moon. I opened my Book of Life seeking some guidance — I was led to my China journal and found the most remarkable entry I wrote when I first arrived there.
MEMOIRS FROM NINGBO, CHINA
“There are moments being here that I am in such a deep state of gratitude. The mess I left behind in New Haven, CT feels so utterly chaotic and messy that my relocation here feels like I’ve entered a deep car wash for the soul. I am blessed. In my Montessori classroom I am constantly reminded of the tenderness and rawness of being 3 and 4, even 5 years old. Life is so alive and real and authentic at this stage. Chinese teachers are quite loving and during naptime, each child is rocked to sleep so tenderly, with sweet Chinese lullabies. It’s a beautiful bedtime story come true. Children operate from impulse, what’s true for them comes out without a censor. Being around their innocence is so refreshing and deeply HEALING.
The motto of the school I work at is Faith, Hope and Love. Perfect, just too perfect. I am being guided and protected by Divine presence. There are moments of profound gratitude that wash over me that feel other worldly. It’s being in the Zone all day long. I’m currently in reinvention mode. What’s next is yet to be revealed, but I feel it’s something completely extraordinary…It has to be…
I remember as a child digging in my backyard or shoveling the sand at Zuma Beach in Malibu, California, a hole in the ground as deep as it could possible go, thinking that if I dug deep enough I would get to China. Don’t all kids do that? LOL. I eventually stopped digging, but somehow that childhood fantasy has come to fruition in some other way. The Far East has always drawn me in since childhood as the mystery and intrigue is so alluring and exotic. My dreamy-like nature is evoked as the veil between worlds seems more transparent here.”
Being back in the USA, the masculine structures of the West make it so much harder to follow my intuition. I need to keep remembering it’s the journey within that’s revealing my healing path…The Universe listens and responds to my intention. If only I can surrender with faith, trusting that the Universe really does have my back.
I keep reminding myself, I don’t need to seek to find my truth, I need to embrace my feminine and LISTEN DEEPLY and REMEMBER. And, so the spiral of life has brought me back to New Haven, Connecticut. I obviously needed to spiral around and go deeper. I’m grateful.
Until next time….
With much blessing and love from the deeply resonant healing feminine part of myself,
Xoxoxo
~ Esther
